A Perspective

  ~Don't count the days, make the days count~
                                                                        -Muhammad Ali


     It's such an amazing process, blogging...where and how we get our personal inspiration.  I try to write when I am taught something meaningful to me.  I get my inspiration from others.  I sat last night on my couch wondering what in the world I was going to blog about because it had been a bit since my last entry.  I fell asleep with no answers. 
Then it hit me.......
     I was sitting at my desk at work, getting frustrated with the database I was trying to enter info into, when a small, soft spoken woman came up to me and said "can I ask you a personal question?"  Hmmmm this could mean anything....my mind instantly wanders with the possibilities....most of which are concerning.  She asks "I just had to shave my head, can you tell I'm wearing a wig?"  UGH.......my heart sinks.  She's such a sweet, pretty woman and no, I could not tell, and I say so.  I also add that I am a lisenced Hairstylist so the fact that I cannot tell, is a great thing! LOL  Instantly, she smiles, warms up and her posture goes from tight to relaxed.  Thankfully I said the right thing here. :)
     Her cancer treatment was taking her long locks, and as a form of "control in a very uncontrollable situation", she shaved her head.  Our chat went on from there, where she shared personal details and was truly remarkable to listen to.  Every single time she said something that was a perspective  of a SURVIVOR, not a cancer patient, I suddenly checked off in my own mind, all those silly concerns I have or the ridiculous whines and complaints that come from a LUCKY healthy person....me.
     I learned so much from her in that brief chat.  My heart didn't feel pain for her, it felt pride.  This stranger before me, explaining the strategies of sharing this experience with her 3 year old daughter as it happens, were absolutely incredible and inspiring.  She is a single mom...no family to speak of....doing this all alone....but she said to me, you do not need a mother or a father, sisters and brothers to have "family".  Hers are her friends and her daughter.  She has all the support she needs by sharing with those around her.  Support isn't black and white.  It is what you need in the moments, the days, to get you through.  For her today...I was that support.  In that moment, I was her "family".    It's humbling at times like this, when I am faced with "true suffering"  and not just deployment woes.  My pain and my agony will end the minute my husband comes home...some are not so lucky.  They have no end date....they live day to day moment to moment like we do in deployment, surviving minutes and hours just to get through.  For a cancer patient life is so uncertain and no guarantees....their source of pain is a life challenge not a situational one.  My client handled herself with dignity and poise.  She stood before me, a soldier of her own war...her body.  She was a fighter and it showed today.  For her......it's not Libya she tries to protect, it's her daughter.    For us left behind during this deployment, we try to fill an album of happy moments to remind ourselves we are strong and we can get through this with even a smile.....for her, the album of memories she is banking, will try to capture for her and her daughter, much more than this.  Her days are filled with activity and memories to remind her in the dark times that there is a light of hope.  Today, I was given a sneak peek at true strength and courage.  I will for the remainder of this trip, remind myself that we only succeed if we believe we can.  We only survive when we are ready to fight.  We can only be happy when we have witnessed true sadness,   and we only learn when we are open to lessons greater than our own teachings.
~M